Peaceful Driver Pillows

'We can exchange information, or, if you prefer, I can punch you in the face and forget the whole thing ever happened.'

My other car has a bumper sticker that says this on it too.

Stop, Smell Roses (stop and smell the roses)

Turmoil change.

Say speed

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

Construction zone ends. Please resume following your bliss.

"Now remember, after this anointing you need to return every 3 months or 3000 miles."

'We'd like to visit a peaceful police state away from any terror treats.'

Driving home for Christmas.

"How about a self-inflating-a-flat-tire car?"

Traffic Sign Haiku

"I'm in the 56-year intensive program, all meals included."

Roadwork ahead: Proceed cautiously and from love rather than negativity.

'Woo-hoo!!' - Lemmings doing it with style.

Height barrier accident.

I brake for elves.

'Okay. Where's the fire?'

"There's no charge—the grinding sound you hear when you're driving is coming from your wife's teeth."

"I coulda been killed had this not deployed. Thank god for my passenger's side handbag!

'I pulled you over because you were driving suspiciously.'

Drink Driving

'Better slow it down a bit.'

Let Go and Let God

Vicar with cross-shaped car aerial.

Warning signs - for deer and cars.

"There are no targets, dear. You've been dying too many drones today."

If you don't stop texting and driving, I'm pulling myself over and shutting myself off. Autocorrect.

'I'm afraid, Vicar, that you have 'left undone those things which you should have done'!'

"I had you doing six in a five."

No, I'm' pretty sure the bullet holes were there when I picked it up. Car rental.

"Let's jump in the car and drive around aimlessly at half the speed limit."

"Got any I.D.?"

Radial Reflex: When your steel belted tires hit a speed bump.

GM recall