Career Switch Storyteller Gifts

When staffing agencies screw up.

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

"Hey, just wanted to say bye again, guys, I'm off to join the circus."

'If I'd known these programs were going to be so fake - I'd be psychic!'

'Dude, touring with a punk rock band was fun, but what I'd really like to do is be CEO of a fortune 500 company.'

Tell me a deposition, mommy.

"Yes, I can use tools, but I realized early on I could earn more money as an accountant..."

'Then after the pan our third album, we split for musical differences..'

'What do you mean you're the new Paediatric Specialist?'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

SNAKE CHARMER: snake reads 'help wanted' ad.

Medical student overdrafts...careers in the law.

'Our goal is for you to successfully transition to your new job before retirement age.'

"How long have you been working from home, Mr. Farley?"

'He was a barman before he got into the demolition game.'

'I'm excited about my new job. I know I have some small shoes to fill.'

"Any experience?"

'Your resume says you have a B.A. in medieval history, a M.A. in modern art, and a PhD in metaphysical poetry. Have you checked us out on the internet? We design and manufacture detonation switches for drones.'

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

"Grunzman, I really appreciate you. I appreciate you to work somewhere else."

"There - is outplacement a challenge or what?"

Respected Professionals

'So what you're telling me is you've been fired from the last 15 jobs you had.'

"Sorry I'm late again, boss. I got held up in self-doubt and regrets."

'And when I was fifteen, I ran away from the circus to join an accounting firm.'

'I heard you got a job at that new club. It must be great."

Where Are They Now?

'As a matter of fact, I can offer you another career option.'

'I'm sorry, but we're letting all of you go. Your jobs have been outsourced to India.'

"Maybe we were wrong to hire him just because he looks good in paper."

Dick rode through the night, the job offer to become a Pension Investment Opportunities Advisor was just too good to miss.

"This is juicy - tell me more!"