Career Launch Gifts

All Les's dreams of stardom were coming true, and he'd only played one note.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

37 years in the same position.

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

Create some buzz!

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

"Is it just a scary coincidence that the words 'changes' and 'unknown' both have 7 letters?"

Networking

"With the caveat that the only certainty in this life is uncertainty, I still want to entertain the possibility of being a pundit when I grow up."

Bright Idea

Little Doctor meets Little Geneticists.

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

Between Offices

'I had considered a career as an offshore commodities broker specialising in securitised asset transfers but the pension wasn't as good.'

Boom

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

At the suit makers

Mark Zuckerberg

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"....how many kids have we got now?"

'I'm looking for a workaholic who feels the great job he does is compensation enough.'

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'