Career Start Gifts

'So you don't mind starting at the bottom!'

'I'd like you to meet our new programs director.'

'Honey, this the start of a fantastic career! Lunchtime is over and I still haven't been fired!'

"In this game you graduate college, get a good job and take care of your parents in their old age...my dad bought me the game."

"He's run away to join the media circus."

'So...you THINK you have what it takes to be a scientist...?'

'I got the job, Mom. You always said I'd make a living with my hands.'

'M'Lud, I know this is your first day, but I think you need to stop shouting I AM THE LAW!'

"Hogsworth, I'm starting my son at the bottom. No executive washroom key until he breaks 90."

A New Teacher's Burden

"Well, I'm sad for Gloria...she's gonna be bummed out when I'm twice as successful as she is."

"Normally we like to recruit our games engineers at a younger age."

Fresh out of school, new hire Justin Huffenberger is temporarily stunned and disoriented by the light at the end of the university tunnel.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

37 years in the same position.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Cole is busy balancing family and career. Can I take a message and have her call you back?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Where would you see yourself in five years' time?"

"This is probably not the time to admit I only joined the force because I figured we'd just be chasing cat burglars."

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Doris K. Elston: Brain Surgeon, Professional Model, Artist, Lawyer....Plus Mother of Four.

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

'Go right in -- he's expecting you.'

PERSONNEL, 'Why did you leave your previous employment?', 'They asked too many questions!'

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

I've been working 20 hours a day. Well, that leaves you four hours to get to work.

"Sure, I'm a successful working bee, but sometimes, I wish I could have a family..."

"And finally, I’d like to thank all those people I stepped on and used to get here. I couldn’t have done it without your submissive insecurity and relentless resignation."

"In addition to 'loyalty' are there any OTHER qualities you think you could bring to the job?"

"I've given up on the novel. There's more money in writing inspirational memes."

'Yes, we do have an incentive scheme.We call it 'continued employment'.'

'Sorry, I can't give you a raise. However, I can offer you a splendid opportunity to share the profits.'

"After grad school, and before joining Wall Street, I decided to travel a bit."