Starting A New Career Gifts

"I was just like you, then I hired a life coach. Now look at me!"

'I'll be honest. Your chances of success are slim.'

"What sort of job are you after?" "I don't want a job. I want to be a consultant!"

Business school graduate trying to climb to the top of the world

'Taking his job as Systems Analyst a bit literally, isn't he?'

I want to be a politician when I grow up...

'I'm applying for a job training program to become a dairy cow instead of a beef one.'

"When I'm grown up I don't want to poop on small cars in little cow towns. I want to poop on the limousines of the rich and famous on the Champs Elysees."

"Mummy, Daddy, Fred! I've been accepted into dentistry school!"

Day one, post grad

"My first novel is a prequel of a sequel, it's about time travel."

Welcome to the Jungle

"This will be your office for now."

"You're new at this, ain't you, son?"

"Aha! A rare sighting of the employed graduate."

'Your marriage to your job has just been annulled.'

'Trust Me, I am an Estate Agent.'

'In the kitchen of opportunity, using the utensils of education and the ingredients of knowledge, you will produce a feast of achievement and the sweet aroma of success will waft throughout the restaurant of your life.'

Stan the fledging cartoonist was happy with his new art table, but sad about his new ass lamp.

"Welcome aboard, Mr. Ryker. For a while you'll be a little frog in a big pond, but we need little frogs."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

Where your mind & battle are los

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

I'm looking for employees who have their own unique way of seeing things my way.

Butterfly Woman

'Let's not go by the book.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

Killer Executive Suits.

"Welcome to the bank - you'll start at the bottom."

In basket-case.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."