Cardio Junkie Pillows

'Triglycerides? Let's just say when your cholesterol,HDL and LDL are partying it up, he's the guy you want to gate crash!'

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

"A squirrel, impressive! I'm still chasing a stick."

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

'These are job perks.'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

Running

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

'We're looking for athletic people.'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'How effective is this new weight-loss regime?' 'We can guarantee you'll lose £50 at your signing on.'

"Can I still do my pilates?"

No caption (A man running on a treadmill hands a relay baton to a man on the treadmill in front of him).

That's not what I meant when I suggested you get an exercise machine.

Evolution of a coffee drinker.

"I hate Tuesday. Tuesday I work legs."

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

'Don't worry about a few pounds up or down. Our main concern is always your bottom line.'

Gym. It doesn't help when you call the ab workout a "journey to the center of the girth."

Jogging...

The size of a man's upper body is directly proportional to the number of unresolved issues in his head.

'I think dad's getting fitter. I couldn't hear him wheezing until he turned the corner today.'

"I gave up on the wheel and designed this. You'll thank me when electricity is invented."

Treadmillstone

"Bear in mind there are three laws in this gym we cannot ignore: health, safety and gravity."

Uncle Mort, have you been playing with your home genetic engineering kit again? Guilty. I was trying to clone my own DNA. For laughs, I mixed up my genes with compost. Mixed up? Technically, cross-bred. Trump is a meathead! Well, you're a vegetable.

"My cardiologist taught me the value of heart work."

Health

'Will I still be married?'

Apocalliptical

Our Productivity Plan: More Coffee

"Let's take it easy for the first two miles."

"At what point does slow jogging become walking?"

Let's work those arms -- newspaper, Blackberry...

Stress