Card Club Member T-Shirts

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'How about a game of cards?'

'My boyfriend's a Cardiologist.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Mouse on an Exercise Bike

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Expensive greeting cards.

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

Cards, Missing You, Missing Ewe (a ram looking for a card for his loved one),

'The valentine card I gave you talks, plays music and flashes lights! Who cares about the message???'

'I'm looking for something that says 'I love you' without getting too personal.'

Men drinking

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

The Peacock Is Not Renowned For His Bluffing Abilities

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Greetings!

'He was wearing his heart on his sleeve.'

HEALTH CLUB, 'It's just a bunch of guys sitting around eating breakfast cereal.'

'Is this the Lonely Hearts Club?'

I'm warning you. My nosy parents are chaperoning. It'll be fine. Eco Club Dance. All they want to do is spy on me. You're safe. You think? Is that Twig? I forgot my night-vision goggles.

Valentines for Things

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

A Passage in the Life of Mr. Watkins Tottle

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

'First, you have to admit you have a gambling problem!'

Killing time, and vice versa....

Diamond Geezer.

Mother's Day cards

Hello, auto club? I have an emergency. What's happened, sir? Ever since I upgraded to iOS 8, my iPhone hasn't been syncing with my car stereo over bluetooth. I don't feel comfortable driving without being able to hear my "driving" playlist. How long till you get here? Sir, we're going to have to revoke your membership.

'Wow! A game used collectors card!'

"THREE quid for a romantic verse? Don't you have any snappy one liners for 50p.?"

Greetings cards copy writer's block.

'By the time I finish explaining the rules, I've lost 'em.'