Auto Club Member T-Shirts

Hello, auto club? I have an emergency. What's happened, sir? Ever since I upgraded to iOS 8, my iPhone hasn't been syncing with my car stereo over bluetooth. I don't feel comfortable driving without being able to hear my "driving" playlist. How long till you get here? Sir, we're going to have to revoke your membership.

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Sailor in Car.

"What old school? This is my life."

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

"Maybe I'm aiming too high...maybe 'saving for a cool car' is too hard."

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

Fred interpreted the word compact as a verb, not as an adjective.

Penguin Remote

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

'I'm OK, but the car is in 'intensive care'!'

'If only you could do this with a cow once in a week, we'd save a lot of money for the food delivery service, Rupert!'

'Your car's ready, but drive carefully for awhile. I had to give the student an 'F' for the work he did on it.'

'Should I call the auto club of the coast guard?'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

'My other baby is Mercedes'

'Hey Dad, can I borrow the car?'

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Men drinking

Autos. You can drive a hard bargain, but you may find a bargain is hard to drive.

"When you asked me tp grill with you, I had imagined something else."

I love that new elephant smell.

'Fuel efficient automobiles.'

"Not only is the grass greener, but check out that Mercedes!"

It was owned by a little old lady who could make a decision faster than you.

'Its motor is powered by a bucket of electric eels.'

"Harry, you're wrong on every level."

'Pull it over, Speedy.'

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'