Carbon Footprint Critic Gifts

'Seen Al Gore lately?'

Green Washing

Scientists are shocked to find the ice caps disappeared much faster than previously thought.

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

Guzzle-guzzle-guzzle

Each of you attending this climate conference will receive a copy of my 9,000-page study on how e-mail has saved millions of trees.

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"What about my footprint?"

Electric car

"Yahoo! We struck earthfriendly oil."

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

Methane Emissions

Energy trap.

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

New uses for excess coal

'Surely the most environment-friendly holiday is staying at home.'

Global Warming.

'We have a new line of eco-friendly shoes. They're designed to reduce your global footprint!'

'No sooner had I gotten over religious guilt when I developed eco-guilt.'

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

'Look, a cloud from when the climate still worked properly'

'Central Office thinks you've taken the fight for the green vote too far.'

Same old fossil fuel dependency: 'Drill, baby, drill!'

Sucking all the oil out of the earth

A brilliant scientist, yet for some reason, Bert had never attended a carbon footprint conference...?

'I'm from China!'

Pat Buchanan - Political Commentator.

'Do you want to reconsider? Headquaters just said we're going green.'

Sorry Fuel Crisis

"I didn't design mankind to be a short-sighted, self-destructive, ravening plague upon their planet. They figured that out all on their own."