Carbon Footprint Watchdog Gifts

Methane Emissions

"If oceans are absorbing more carbon dioxide, why isn't this water fizzy?"

"We finally reached net zero emissions."

'To help save the environment, I've replaced all of our lightbulbs with compact fluorescents. Now I'm running the old ones over to the landfill...'

'And this one's framed in beautiful Brazilian hardwood.'

"The Nominees"

"What about my footprint?"

The FDA studies 'Tobacco'.

Electric car

"Please buddy, can you spare a carbon credit?"

'I wonder if everyone else is making as much effort as us to reduce global warming.'

"If I give up drinking...will you give up global warming?"

Never Source

Turning the switch on the environment.

Each of you attending this climate conference will receive a copy of my 9,000-page study on how e-mail has saved millions of trees.

"The people who hate trucks as environmentally destructive traffic obstacles and think that drivers are grubby idiots are waiting for their goods!"

'Surely the most environment-friendly holiday is staying at home.'

Global Warming.

The Gulf Coast Oil Spill is the Grime of the Century.

'Central Office thinks you've taken the fight for the green vote too far.'

"I'm from the Environmental Protection Agency. You're doing great."

A brilliant scientist, yet for some reason, Bert had never attended a carbon footprint conference...?

"And make sure you give me a paper straw... gotta do my bit for the planet."

Guzzle-guzzle-guzzle

'I'm doing my bit got the planet by investing in biofuels. . . Mind you, the fact that they'll have to strip-mine South America for crop space may well put a few noses out of joint.'

Is online shopping bad for the environment?

"If you want folks to see you're serious about carbon off-setting, plant it round the front - this is where our helipad is going!"

2 trilobites; 'So what are you going to be when you die - oil or gas?'

'No sooner had I gotten over religious guilt when I developed eco-guilt.'

'Look, a cloud from when the climate still worked properly'

'I wouldn't consider you an environmentalist when your hybrid runs on half crude oil and half coal.'

'We've only cut our CO2 emissions to piss off the utilities companies.'

Demand For Oil

'I'm from China!'

'Do you want to reconsider? Headquaters just said we're going green.'