Car Shopping Pillows

"We breed them for aggressiveness."

'And this one has a digital readout to tell you 'how-much' the car is depreciating!'

Car dealer's sign: If you kick the tires, you've bought it!

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"She only comes in to try out the heated seats."

"Since it cost as much as our house, can we take out a mortgage instead of a loan?"

"So, what are you folks looking for in a new car?"

'It'll do one hundred twenty five on the freeway and ninety five in your driveway.'

'It goes with your eyes.'

He says he'd like his change in Skodas...'

'I was looking for something more passive-aggressive.'

'If it starts, notice the roar of power.'

"I'm expecting a big win on the horses."

"OK...it's time...to go buy a new car."

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Killer Executive Suits.

Formal SuitsBusiness SuitsBirthday Suits.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Now here's one that has the glamour above the table."

Cat woman shopping for cats.

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, there was no 'Buy One, Get One Free.' You're twins."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

'Now that I've lost weight, I can't afford new clothes in my size.'

"It's kohlrabi, the next hot vegetable."

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

Peephole in a pile of presents (colour).