Car-savvy Friend Gifts

Underwater on the Car

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Mac OS 20

"Would you like to keep eighty-seven tabs open?"

"Gas. Regular. Premium. Super. You don’t want to know."

Beware of Falling Notice.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

Tree Funeral

'I was thinking-what if the tide's OUT?'

"The wifi password? Of course Madame, it's 'Ilove100boobies69'."

"Trust me, detainee orange is going to be huge this fall."

"The Bluetooth Special comes with a side order of Wi-Fi."

The Soundness of Newton's Laws

"One of you got online and stole my identity, which is weird because there's not one thing unique about us."

I'm bored and broke. My gadgets seem old and outdated. I can't buy anything new. I can't work because the economy stinks. I'll just die of boredom. Hold on. Surely you can think of some other exciting and self-destructive activity to distract you from facing your real problems. Ooh, my inside voice has an idea. What's Darlene up to?

"Hang on - I've got an app for this. . ."

"Sorry, your password must have at least nine characters, with both letters and numbers."

Isaac Newton...stumped.

"My phone won't fold but the manufacturer did."

Car's bumper sticker reads: 'My other car is a bookmobile.'

Most egregious misuse of Commons speaking time.

"You have the right to one phone call, or one cell phone call, or one pager call, or one e-mail!"

Pomeroy is terrified somebody will break into his files. A real case of "hackrophobia"!

"The doctors running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching in our waiting room."

New to selfies? Pick a style!

Vote for me...I'm not that guy!

'I occasionally need to read my tweets to remember what I was doing.'

'Kevin, I'm sorry for losing my temper on the eighteenth. Ah I see they removed the flag alright.'

Missing the human touch.

'Did you know golf is the healthiest sport you can play?'

"It can also run on recycled cooking oil, but you have to be careful, as it has a severe peanut allergy."

Graduation Day at Drone School

"Actually write thank-you notes to my best customers with a pen and paper? But I wouldn't have spell check!"

"Hang on Darling, this doesn't feel right..."

My digital assistant device hears things in my house and then targeted ads are sent to me, but it seems like there are still some bugs in the system. I can explain it, Frank, you're always talking about golf. The device hears "tee" and get ads for "tea." When the golf pros are on TV I get ads for cars and pet shopts. That's because the device repeatedly hears "long drive" and "birdie." Then when I talk about my playing golf, I get ads for knives and fishing equipment. Of course! The devi