Car Forgetter Pillows

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

Man looking at greeting cards labeled "Apologies for not writing sooner" with sub-headings for different lengths of time.

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

'...And for those of you who cant remember the words...'

"One of our old servers has been hacked. Maybe whoever did it will give me my password."

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

Short Term Memory Loss Support Group: 'Good evening. You're probably all wondering why you just walked into this room.'

"Does my transfer include my cubicle? I have all my passwords written on its walls."

"Birthday? No? Anniversary?

'That reminds me must buy an anniversary present for Lady Caroline!!'

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

"I don't know the lyrics either, so I just hum along."

"Sorry I left the keys in the car, now it's gone!"

'Noah completely forgot the fish.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'He drinks to forget and today it's our wedding anniversary.'

"I forgot my phone."

"S**t! I forgot the mask!"

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

'We were playing mothers and fathers and I forgot our wedding anniversary.'

"The only thing I've learned from my mistakes is that apparently I'll keep making them."

"Y'know Bruce, you can just click on the 'Forgot Password' button, right?"

"That password is somewhere in your brain. I think I know how to extract it."

'What do you mean it was last night?! Let me see the tickets!'

"Remember your password for five bucks, mister?"

Forgot your password?

Man forgeting anniversary

"Sorry, your accident insurance doesn't cover you forgetting your twenty second wedding anniversary."

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

Hypnotist: Stop Smoking/ Lose Weight/ Recover Forgotten Passwords.

'It's Fred, he wants to know if you want to go fishing Saturday. The day of our wedding anniversary.'

'Well, it's a LITTLE frustrating...no one pays any attention to the fire drills!'

There comes a point when you may have to admit the truth: you stink.