Fridge Forgetter Pillows

"....Need some of this nice mixed salad, to stick in the fridge & chuck out next week."

Always empty your fridge before starting a diet.

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'I can't believe this.. biggest fight of my life, and I forget to pack a wallop.'

What did you think happens to all those vitamins that roll beneath the fridge?

"I think the milk's off!"

"Here's a blues number written about my inability to remember computer passwords."

'You can stop looking-I just remembered I didn't wear my retainer today. Funny, huh?'

"One of our old servers has been hacked. Maybe whoever did it will give me my password."

"You don't seem to know your lines." "That's because I'm an understudy."

"Does my transfer include my cubicle? I have all my passwords written on its walls."

'You shouldn't have forgotten the flag!'

I add 1,000 steps every day just going back to my car to get the mask I was supposed to put on."

'...And when it registers over 140 pounds, it automatically triggers the refrigerator lock.'

'Don't think its a coincidence that the chocolate is in the back and the fruits are in the front.'

"Sorry I left the keys in the car, now it's gone!"

Dieter sees 'Enter at own risk' sign on refrigerator

'It was time to defrost the fridge.'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'Noah completely forgot the fish.'

"I can always find the olives. It's the only jar that looks back at me!"

"S**t! I forgot the mask!"

"I forgot my phone."

'Today's St. Patrick's day. It'll be a good time to eat up this stuff with the green mold on it.'

'I'm not worried about terrorists, I'm cleaning out the fridge.'

Woman chaining herself to refrigerator so heavy man cannot open it.

Fridge with sign - 'Contents may not be suitable for those with weight problems'.

'You remember earlier when kevin said there was nothing to eat.'

Excuses why you forgot to buy her a Valentine's gift - $50

"Like you, mom, I never waste leftover. Want some pizza slice, meatloaf hunk, chicken salad soup?"

'Well, it's a LITTLE frustrating...no one pays any attention to the fire drills!'

Hypnotist: Stop Smoking/ Lose Weight/ Recover Forgotten Passwords.