Car Crash Recovery Pillows

'I'm sorry to hear about your Husband's little car crash... By the way, here's my bill for fixing his brakes.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"What old school? This is my life."

Barbeque Casualty.

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"Do you buy cars here?"

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

Big slipper.

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

'This is your lucky day!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

"The good news is, I got religion!"

'Well, it wasn't the motor -- I'll try replacing the other stuff.'

In case of stock market crash break glass.

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

"Yep, she's gonna cost ya—your microprocessor's shot."

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

'So, tell me once more how climbing trees is healthier than playing computer games.'

"Oh...that's not good."

"Stop moaning. I said I'm sorry."

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

"Well, did you get motorcycle riding out of your system?"