Car Accident Recovery Pillows

'Can I call you back?'

'I've brought my car in to have the brake system adjusted.'

"Your car made it out of the accident with scrapes and bruises, but you're totaled."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

'No, I don't need aluminum siding, but put me on with the windshield - selling guy!'

'That's what I said! My car was hit by this dog!'

'At least we won't need a new airbag-ours works perfectly!'

'...and then there was a little tinkle and the car just stopped.'

'I understand you cover the deductible?'

'It's good news - the car can be repaired'

Thanks to the air bagpipes, he walked away with only busted eardrums.

"I coulda been killed had this not deployed. Thank god for my passenger's side handbag!

'Good news honey! My golf clubs are okay!'

"The brakes still feel spongy to me."

"Texting and driving?"

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

Barbeque Casualty.

"What old school? This is my life."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"Do you buy cars here?"

They've been inseparable since the avalanche.

'After giving a recorded statement to these people, being grilled by 60 Minutes would seem like a piece of cake.'

'I've only come to get my nail back.'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

'...but besides this, how are you doing?'

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You call all this a side effect?"

Big slipper.

'This is your lucky day!'

'I have this horrible premonition that he's turning into a butterfly.'

"The good news is, I got religion!"

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"And as if that wasn't bad enough. They've discovered that I'm allergic to bandages!"

'Talking to John always raises my self esteem. He's such a great listener!'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"