Car Boot Collector T-Shirts

'Of course I know what's in the boot, there's twice as much space as most other vehicles, that's what's in the boot.'

Handbag store - "Perfect."

He won't sit, but he heels well.

"They're comfortable."

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

"And now. . . which shoes?"

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"Do you buy cars here?"

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

'Sorry sir,but we can't just take your word that the boots leak'

Robot Jogger

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Shoes Make The Man

"Do you smell something?"

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

'God's speed.'

"Would you like to try them out?"

"Because you're a mechanic, we're going to do your hydrotherapy in a car pool."

'I want a refund. They only shuffle.'

'I'm afraid you'll have to buy a car, sir -- Braxton, here, accidentally sold your car to somebody else.'

'Best to keep downwind.'

'Mom, dad's toasting the new year with the car again!'

'Our giant sale now on!'

Utility Chic.

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

Dog wearing his master's shoes.

'For us, buying shoes is like buying one drink with two straws, hahaha!'

James May

A man in bathrobe smoking a pipe sits in an armchair as a dog delivers endless pairs of shoes and boots to him.

Acme Flyswatters.

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

"There it is...the car of my dreams! It's the perfect match! The seat...the steering wheel...they just call my name! I'm not leaving here without it!"

A Father Clown marking the growth progress of his son's shoe size.