Capitalist Dreamer T-Shirts

"We'd like to take a majority position in your poetry."

"Dreaming the impossible dream didn't make me rich. SELLING the impossible dream made me rich!"

Have you hugged your money today?

'I'm only a millionaires, and there are over 260 billionaires!'

"What is it about me that makes people mistrust my investment advice?"

'It's crunch time, Caldwell. That's the time between when you're born, and when you make your first million.'

'I realize money can't buy happiness, so I'm just trying to improve the exchange rate.'

'Some of you were wondering, 'what, exactly, does Smedgwick, Refining and Smelting do'?'

Investments: Remember, tis better to have loved money and lost, than never to have loved money at all.

"Praying for money and having the stock market go up, is the easiest way for me to achieve serenity."

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

Lemonade Inc.

"I want to make it before I hit thirty."

Money Plant.

Citizen of the world.

City Windfarms.

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

"Being my own boss sounds fun but I wouldn't be able to motivate myself."

"No I wouldn't say you're ahead of your time. More like 'outside of it'."

"Every single day, guys ask you for advice about women, work, sports... Haven't you ever even heard of the law of supply and demand?. . .I'd be glad to steer the downtrodden and the forlorn your way for a mere 82% of the man-to-man-talk fee."

"It's not that I'm lazy. But I envisage myself not so much climbing the corporate ladder, as taking the corporate elevator."

"Ready. Aim. Pew! Pew!"

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

"Now at this point reality intruded."

"I, too, hate being a greedy bastard, but we have a responsibility to our shareholders."

Industrial Beautification van

"Skip to the part where the princess climbs to the top of the corporate ladder."

'I'd like to invest in some young companies.'

"It's the only image capable of giving him the feels."

Desert Planet

"We're still trying to sort out the details."

The church of our lady of wall street.

'We really like your suggested target of us becoming 'richer than God if God won the lottery'. Any idea how we might get there.'

'So far, the only dreams I've achieved have been nightmares.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'