Cap-and-gown Raconteur Pillows

"What does he know, and how long will he know it?"

'The hair specialist is down the hall.'

"First, I sent a rocket of a drive down the fairway, then I took the 7-iron, put that ball on the green...a hundred and eighty yards if it was an inch..."

"I'd like to thank my parents and my creditors for making this possible."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Non Thought For The Day.

Graduate

Zumma Cum Laude

Barman indicates sick bucket, alongside usual ice bucket, saying to attractive woman: 'That's there in case you hear any particularly bad chat-up lines.'

"I do love you, but I love you as a crimefighter."

'If you're worried what to say you do for a living at your reunion, just tell them you recently bought a large stake in a local brewery.'

'Here goes the second bottle of champagne... I think it would be fair of You to tell me what are my chances so I know whether to order another bottle or not...'

William Tell Overture

Graduate of 2021

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

'How many husbands have I had? Do you mean excluding my own?'

Graduate

There is no limit to the amount of nonsense that men can talk about football.

Max Beerbohm

"That's the man, Officer. That's Mr. Right!"

Social butterfly

How was your week on the lake? Twig fell in lo-love! Oh, tell me! Why did I say that? Now I'll never find out anything. Relax, momster. $20 and I can provide a full background report. Done! Boys are so communicative!

Oscar Wilde

Graduate.

Resumes

"I didn't know you had a minor."

'So, do you fish for sport or do you actually catch something?'

Some New Mortarboard Styles.

It Actually Happened 'My neighbour is always bragging about her Manx cat....

'Even women talk about the one that got away'

'Let me take you away from all this — I know a much better bar across the street.'

"Tell me again about those twelve mile hikes you were on in the military."

Brenda always had Safe sex