Canvas Craftsman Pillows

'They're great, but does your signature really have to include the 'D.D.S.'?'

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

(Camel paintings)

"I'm the only sane artist in the world."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"Feel better, dear?"

"He's an abstract artist."

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

Art Plagiarism

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

Painting the portrait of a weight lifter.

"It's called 'Sold'."

'Picasso'

Couple painting each other - one turns to the other and says, 'Hon, let's hire a model.'

Jackson Pollock makes a mistake: 'Guess I'll have to start over.'

'I'm glad you like it, but I haven't started it yet.'

Stage producer.

How Art Works.

"I'm ahead of my time."

'Stupido Digitale! Chucka me a sloppy brush, there's a gooda chap.'

Artistic Licence.

'A resume painted in oils on canvas? How long have you been out of work?'

Medical Arts Building

The painting Painter

Jackson Pollock's early paint-by-numbers period.

'And you all thought I didn't have a hobby.'

"Your resume says SOB, tell me more about that."

Painting Music

"Not moonshine - small batch, artisanal grain alcohol."

Artist Painting Modern Art.

Abstract Paintings.

"Pfft. Derivative."