Cannonball Critic Gifts

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

I've decided to shift down a few gears.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

The Perfect Cannonball

"You know damn well what noise!"

'Your father and I support your career aspirations, but we feel you need a new practice space.'

Tank driver wielding a slingshot.

"Of course it's not easy to read the body language of someone who's basically inert."

"No bouquet toss for this bride. She's shooting it out of a cannon."

The New Square Mile Regulator.

'WOW! Did anyone see the recoil on this baby?'

'No thanks; can't handle caffeine, nicotine, alcohol, or number six birdshot.'

With the exception of the cold coffee and poor selection of donuts, I think the meeting went well.

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'Which one has the highest alcohol content?' 'That one.'

Cat eyes up cocktail olive.

'Yo! No cannonballs!'

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

"Touché, Roy. A snappy riposte will be winging its way to you as soon as possible."

"I keep thinking how much pleasanter New York would be without Ed, Donald, and George."

"What's it going to take to put you in one of these babies?"

"I never use ice anymore since hearing about the endangered glaciers."

Hitting a Brick Wall.

"Well, that's not where my north is."

Light Artillery

I've got the travel agent on the line... Remember to tell him there's not enough mint in the Pimms!

Battle.

"Something age appropriate."

"I was new money till they initiated the anti counterfeiting measures."

"I'm supposed to be someplace downtown right now, sucking the air out of the room."

'You know, after a long hard winter, I just HATE eating out of cans.'

'Closer... closer...'