Canine Worshipper Pillows

'This is my late husband Fred, my son James, and of course, Fifi...'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Drool Marks

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Pyramid catflap...

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Okay, who's purring?"

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

"Oh, and don’t forget to pick up you-know-who’s ‘woof-woof’ treats."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

"A guard dog?! You think you're a guard dog!

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

Man's Best Friend - Man's Worst Friend - Man's Only Friend

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

"My cat is like your god. Except people don't kill in her name. You don't need to wait until you die to meet her. And she's real."

Cat is Ruler of the House.