Canine Worshipper Pillows

'This is my late husband Fred, my son James, and of course, Fifi...'

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

Drool Marks

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Pyramid catflap...

Marilyn's Rushmore

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

"Okay, who's purring?"

'It's a statue of St. Francis of Assisi. I had it specially made for my hospital.'

'But, apart from the pews, the sermon, the hymns, the coffee and, 'all that praying', you'd come again?'

"The world revolves around my cat."

Jennifer Aniston

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'I guess you're not from around here. In this region of the country football is in the religion section.'

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'Remember you are dust bunny and to dust bunny you shall return.'

Fitness in church.

"Sosa's great, but McGwire is my hero."

"Oh, and don’t forget to pick up you-know-who’s ‘woof-woof’ treats."

'What did you say? 'The light is nothing but an ordinary streetlamp'? Oh no! My own son is an atheist??!'

'Did you know that your birthmark links to a cult group that worships cats?'

Man in hell reads a sign declaring his eternal damnation.

Man's Best Friend - Man's Worst Friend - Man's Only Friend

"A guard dog?! You think you're a guard dog!

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

"Finished feeding the 5000. What do you want to do with the left over fish?"

'It's been a mad house ever since the image of Elvis was seen on the wall after I primed it.'

Surgeons high-five spectators as they enter emergency room.

"If God wanted me to go to church he wouldn't have put football on Sundays."

"My cat is like your god. Except people don't kill in her name. You don't need to wait until you die to meet her. And she's real."

'Mom! Can my role model stay for dinner? He's suspended for three games and has nowhere to go.'

'A group of Jennifer Lopez's fans want us to make her a saint!' 'Really? A halo of J-Lo?'

"Snowman 1 to snowman 3... UPS delivery complete... FedEx approaching fast... Amazon not in sight... Over!"