Canine Senses Gifts

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

"I'm getting cinnamon, brandy, nutmeg, a hint of Alsatian."

"Let me know if you smell any large-mouth bass."

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"… She's simply asking that you no longer refer to her as 'the dog.'"

Good boy

'A listener from Ridgeway asks, 'When visiting a friend, is it improper to drink out of the toilet unless asked first?' Good question...'

When dogs appear to be deep in thought.

'Time-outs might have more meaning when I learn to tell time.'

'No, fear isn't one of the basic taste sensations.'

A Good Year.

'Urgh!. . . That's disgusting.'

Dog next to sign that says, 'Beware of Dog's Feelings'.

Sensory confusion syndrome.

'Actually, I'm a lap dog.'

'Oh, I just knew that darned obedience school was a mistake!'

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

"It's his only trick, but I think you'd agree. . . it's a bloody good one!"

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."

"She looks slow—but watch how fast she moves when I put this disgusting thing in my mouth."

"Bad news - you're going to be neutered."

"Theo, conversation is about talking and listening!"

'Then it's agreed. We'll go with our animal instincts.'

"Ok, Eddie, here she comes. Just relax, play it cool, and let her sniff your butt first."

"This may be past it's use-by date."

'Gee, you wouldn't turn away one lonely, pregnant flea, would you?'

"You'll just have to go elsewhere for a sense of wonder."

Dog Show