Canine Royalty Enthusiast Gifts

"They say that every dog has its day, and this apparently is mine."

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

"She wishes to range free!"

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

Czarcasm

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'I screwed up royally!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

Trading half a kingdom for a lesser steed!

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'Democracy? -- do you REALLY want the bars closed every election day?'