Four-legged Royalty Admirer Gifts

At a mansion with a doorman a dog and cat have their own little doors with their own little doormen.

"Before you chop off my head, don't you think we should see a counsellor?"

"Well how about that. . . Lady Godiva bought a Harley!"

"Once upon a time, there was a princess who wasn't about to take anyone's sh*t."

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

'You realize, we can't use the 'benign neglect' method for everything.'

Knight Golfing

"You don't think it's too ungapatchka?"

'Don't be silly- of course you're going into the family business!'

"Based on the feedback from advisers whom I haven't beheaded, all of my ideas are great."

'How about a game of cards?'

"He's a guard dog."

Czarcasm

'Gerry just can't seem to relax on holiday.'

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'Did you bark, M'Lady?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

'I can't finish -- may I have a peasant-bag?'

The Frog Prince

"Messenger, dost thou bring me good news or dost thou bring me bad news?"

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

'Gunboat diplomacy won't work, sire -- we're landlocked, remember?'

'Well, nobody can say you haven't grown in office.'

"Your love gives me strength."

Princess Anne

"In my own country I didn't drive a taxi."

'Scroll down for the good stuff!'

'He was born with a silver spoon all right, but not in his mouth.'

'I screwed up royally!'

'Frankincense, dummy! I asked for frankincense!'

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"I don't suppose you get many sovereign rulers in here anymore?"