Canine Quipsters Gifts

'Does he bite?'

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

"He's no hat and all corgis."

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"Fee-fi-fo-fum, I smell Thursday's gluten-free lasagna!"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

His Master's Thesis.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

Dog fetching clown shoes.

Dogs life

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"His mother was a poodle and his father was a shoe."