Canine Lover Gifts

'And the guy running for dog catcher has a superpac!'

'I hear a pet can help prolong your life. Got any that know the Heimlich maneuver?'

'You see, I didn't lie, the Internet is full of puppy and kitten videos: We could make a fortune!'

"They call this a coffee table, but it tastes nothing like coffee."

"Honey, for the last time, stop calling me at work."

"He gives everybody the same advice. . . roll over your funds."

"If our proposal is a success, control yourself and don't start running all around the room."

"I used to think maybe I was the problem but then I realized she was just a bitch."

'You'll find I'm very reasonable, Henderson- you scratch my belly and I'll scratch yours.'

"I don't know what I'm going to do...my presentation is due on Monday and I haven't even started...I'm not sure I know how to speak."

"Then again, maybe he does qualify as a dependent."

Human Cull: People who don't pick up after their dog.

"Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi!"

A dog's fleas have abandoned him to attend the flea market.

'Marmaduke, wake up! You're barking in your sleep again!'

Dog football

"This is what happens when you marry an obedience school dropout."

Trick or treating dog.

'He's our new Bone Specialist!'

'I've got a donor card. When I'm dead, I bequeath my legs to the dog pound.'

"He wasn't quite dark enough to name 'midnight' so I named him ten o'clock."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

City Zoo: Day Care

"Bark or stare? Always a tough decision. Bark? Maybe stare? Whimper? Maybe? Meanwhile, stare."

Playing Fetch.

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

Copycats

"Hulk no can be mad at Mr. Puppy Face"

Polly txt speak

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

Police Feline Unit

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

A Good Batch.