Canine Dj Enthusiast Gifts

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

It is important to give your dog opportunities to play with people.

Knock on the door - dog stands up and shouts 'Beat it!'

"No no, I said sit!!"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

Dog Hunting Trophies.

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

'Table scraps, doggie-bag goodies, dropped hot dogs, the cat's dish of food and your master's slippers.'

Tiny dog catches frisbee that spins him around in circles.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"They're friendly, but they're also carnivorous, so remember that when you're called on to beg and roll over."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

Obedience School Graduation

His Master's Thesis.

"The article says there was a break-in at the museum last night. I don't suppose you know anything about that."

Woman leaves dog in rain...he gets into a car to wait in the dry.

'Oh, oh, a pack of dogs! Stand still amd maybe they won't notice us.'

"I finally caught you... now what?"

'...and remember, son, never throw up on an old carpet...wait until they get a new one!'

Dog fetching clown shoes.

"I wasn't howling at the moon. I was singing along to my iPod."

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

"....And what's the deal with fetch? You want the stick or don't you? Make up your mind already!"

Dogs life

"No I said fetch , not wretch.."

'You're supposed to just lick the cone!'

"Wow, what a DILF."

"I always get the 'Good Boy.' How about the 'Bad Dog' for a change?"

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

"I see you mister mail carrier... that's it, just keep walking... don't even think abo—did you just look at my house?! Are you looking for trouble? Cujo ain't got #!@* on me."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'If I don't chew this, my S.A.T. scores will skyrocket.'