Canine Crown Collector Gifts

'Congratulations, Martha. This is a meal fit for a king.'

'This vacation, let's go on something OTHER than a power trip.'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Dog in love

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

'Small favor, Elizabeth - before we enter the throne room, drop back ten paces.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

'It's the Secretary-General of the United Nations -- are you here?'

"Want to find out if you're also king of the swamp?"

'He followed me home, Dad -- can I oppress him?'

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

'Can you spare a minute, madam - I'm doing a king of all I survey.'

'Researching the opossum article.'

Queen.

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

Lost and found - 'Can you desribe it?' (Queen being asked having lost her crown).

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

The Loneliness of Power

Your doctor's prescription is ready, Mr. Hargrove. I have too ask. King size or regular?

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

Queen Anne

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Museum of dog memorabilia

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

"You remind me of someone."

'Your Majesty, the Pretender to the Throne is here.'

Queen Elizabeth overtakes Victoria as longest reigning monarch on September 9th, 2015