Canine Confessor Gifts

"I see...and where was this carpet?"

'I've fallen in love with my vet but she doesn't know I exist.'

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

Licensed Therapist

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Have you tried barking at the moon?"

"Have you tried biting him?"

"Your love gives me strength."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

Personal Assistants.

"Okay, who's purring?"

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

Spa Dog

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."