Canine Confessor Gifts

"I see...and where was this carpet?"

'I've fallen in love with my vet but she doesn't know I exist.'

Licensed Therapist

"Sometimes ... I just want to run away."

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"For the sake of not being redundant, your honor, I feel that one 'bad dog' is sufficient."

"Have you tried biting him?"

'I get the feeling you're wagging your tale on the outside and crying on the inside.'

"Who's a good boy? You're a good boy."

"Your love gives me strength."

'When you get up on the stand be sure to keep your answers short. A whole lot of barking will only frighten the jury.'

'Can you give him something to relax his jaws?'

"He ate homework as a puppy but quickly moved onto business journals."

"We're slapping you with a stress suit, pal!"

Of course your master calls you 'Man's best friend'. As your attorney I advise you to get it in writing.

"You're missing the whole gestalt of Frisbee!"

"There are no bad dogs. Only good dogs who make bad choices."

'First of all, calm down - your allowed to be on the couch.'

'You know, if you had one of those bumper stickers, I wouldn't be in doggy-therapy.'

"I've been getting really excited about squirrels even when my dog isn't with me."

Becoming The Good Boy They Say You Are

"Petting, fetching, receiving belly rubs . . . It all adds to your billable hours."

'Please forgive me for anything I've said or left unsaid.'

Personal Assistants.

"Okay, who's purring?"

"So tell me more about the dog sitter."

'A common problem - we all give them our undivided love and devotion.'

Spa Dog

'I've been depressed ever since PBS said pigs are smarter than dogs!'

"I now propose a 5 minute break so we can confide with our dogs."

"He's anxious to resume perpetrating his usual activities."

'The dog doesn't like fishing so I'm taking the cat.'

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

'Don't get me wrong, the professional dog-walker is nice, but it is not really the same as if my Master was walking me...'

"And just how long have your felt confined by this 'invisible fence'?"