Canine Confabulator Gifts

"Young Frankenstein"

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"Shhh - he's trying open his third nostril."

"It's not that you ate the sirloin tips. It's the lying."

"I've taught him to do tricks, he wants you to pick a card."

"She will take me on more walks."

"Would you like a 'scratching' or 'non-scratching' room?"

Ken wandered home wondering what the lunar new year would bring. . . like every other man and his dog.

"I bark, therefore I am."

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

“I've come to believe that I'm powerless over tennis balls.”

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

'Har, har! Hey, Margaret, wanna hear something funny? That wimp dog of mine wants to be a ballet dancer!'

"He's a well-trained housekeeping dog."

Meditation for dogs

"You mean we've got to do this seven times a year?" (Colour)

"I keep getting into a flap."

'I told him to get down.'

"I see...and where was this carpet?"

"That should keep him off our backs for a while."

"I think the dog wants out"

'I'm teaching him to give me a doggie treat whenever I lay real still.'

'!!X@#!! Reincarnation!'

"You're not funny."

'I've fallen in love with my vet but she doesn't know I exist.'

'This is my late husband Fred, my son James, and of course, Fifi...'

"I see Rover has introduced himself to you?"

'This is 'Louis': He can make you a fake pedigree for 200 dollars...'

"Am I hungry?" The dog asked himself. "Yes. I am hungry."

"Is it true, cows have four stomachs?"

Friends forever.