Canine Celebrator Gifts

'Let's see those smiles.'

"You mean we've got to do this seven times a year?" (Colour)

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Emotional Bling

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

Scot holding a heart.

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Wine: New and Old.

"Some puppies get bored when they're alone, but my family left me enough chew toys to last all day."

Poinsettia

Theatrical Christmas.

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

The wedding.

I heart my bum.

Are we nearly there yet?

"The cat was there."

CIVICS 101

Mrs and Mrs Lesbian Halloween Pumpkin

"The day after Thanksgiving is a day of rest for cooks."

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

"Looks like Dia de Los Muertos has finally gone mainstream."

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"So those two men are getting married?"

"Whoa! If this baby shower isn't for ME -- then WHO'S it for?"

"This my wife of 42 years...uh..." "Lisa."

"Derek and I have always been very aware of the nutritional value of whole grains."