Canine Celebrator Gifts

"You mean we've got to do this seven times a year?" (Colour)

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Emotional Bling

'In memory of our beloved Skippy.'

'Actually, I don't get out much. I spend most of my time alone, writing lyrical novels celebrating nature and the interconnectedness of all living things!'

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

Scot holding a heart.

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

Wine: New and Old.

Theatrical Christmas.

Poinsettia

"Some puppies get bored when they're alone, but my family left me enough chew toys to last all day."

Are we nearly there yet?

The wedding.

"The cat was there."

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

CIVICS 101

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

"The day after Thanksgiving is a day of rest for cooks."

Mrs and Mrs Lesbian Halloween Pumpkin

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

"Looks like Dia de Los Muertos has finally gone mainstream."

"So those two men are getting married?"

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"

"Whoa! If this baby shower isn't for ME -- then WHO'S it for?"

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"This my wife of 42 years...uh..." "Lisa."

"Derek and I have always been very aware of the nutritional value of whole grains."

'Halloween, Valentines Day, Easter ... the market is ripe for a summer candy holiday.'

'Easter coming so soon after Christmas has almost turned Anthony into a regular churchgoer.'