Canine Celebrant Gifts

Dogs getting married have puppies carry their tails.

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Emotional Bling

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

"Poop outside and he saves it in a bag. Crap on the carpet and he loses his mind."

TV Interactive panto - Remote control buttons: Oh yes it is - Oh no it isn't.

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

Congratulations!

Scot holding a heart.

It took a while but Henk finally did lose his Christmas bum.

"Trick or treat?"

"Post-holiday dieting will be much easier this year. Our disposable cash flow will be diverted."

"Tis the season to be jolly!"

"Some puppies get bored when they're alone, but my family left me enough chew toys to last all day."

Poinsettia

'Let's see those smiles.'

On The Ninth day of Christmas.

The wedding.

'You don't know why you're down here?... Aren't you the guy that invented the high five in sports?'

I heart my bum.

Two grooms cutting a civil union cake...

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"The day after Thanksgiving is a day of rest for cooks."

Man United Team Christmas.

"This is one time of year we count our blessings. . . and not our calories."

Mrs and Mrs Lesbian Halloween Pumpkin

Due to company cutbacks please only photocopy one buttock.

I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?

'After that 24 hour beer and fruit cake binge, you need a radical detox!'

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

'It mightn't be HD, but it's Christmassy!'

"Whoa! If this baby shower isn't for ME -- then WHO'S it for?"

'New Year's Eve is definitely a time for reflection...and it's usually my face in the punch bowl.'

"You mean we've got to do this seven times a year?" (Colour)

"Well, you shouted come on the five dog!"