Vintage Celebrator Gifts

Wine: New and Old.

Emotional Bling

"Here's the baby's first birthday, her second, her third, look at her gifts..."

Two grooms/wedding guests raise a glass.

Space hopper as a bouncer of a nightclub

Two men wearing laurels and holding hands

Scot holding a heart.

"He had it commissioned just before he died."

Two men toasting

"We're celebrating our 25th anniversary, so separate checks."

"Over the long haul, it's been a long haul."

'Let's see those smiles.'

I heart my bum.

"This is where the party budget ran out."

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

Charleston dance.

'You remembered our anniversary!'

'Guy Fawkes and trick or treat - two for the price of one for one night only - please give generously.'

Mrs and Mrs Lesbian Halloween Pumpkin

'This is the 1927 Georges de Latour you bought us for our anniversary, son. Mom spruced it up nicely with orange soda and melon balls.'

"Oh, I beg your pardon – I'm just looking for my husband."

Black Velvet.

'The spare sack? After a million warm beers and pieces of fruit cake...you'd have a spare sack too!'

"You mean we've got to do this seven times a year?" (Colour)

"So those two men are getting married?"

'...gone! The remains of the iceberg that sank the Titanic, to...'

Uncle Mort, I've been at this cafe for 20 years. It's my anniversary. So you're still employed? Yeah, I mean, yeah, of course you know tha … No thanks to greedy corporate interests! They've moved jobs and cash offshore, avoided paying taxes, spurred public policy that destroys the middle class! My anniversary gift: Your spit. I yell because I care.

'I had everything ready for a nice romantic dinner, but sure enough, he ruined it by getting into a feeding frenzy...'

A slap-up meal.

'Of course I remembered. What is the traditional gift for a 25th wedding anniversary - steak or lobster?'

Chewing on Happy Birthday letters.

Easter chocolate

Gypsy fortune teller consults a magic eight ball for a male customer.

"And they said it would never last."

'Next week will be our Silver Wedding Anniversary!'