Canine Cologne Aficionado Pillows

"Sniff, sniff, NICE! Smells like butt!"

"I was almost that last year."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"I actually had this haircut before I became a mom."

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Why would a dog wear a hat?

Why Poodles Become Killers

Mrs Sutherland and her American Hairless Terrier.

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

"Can I have another free biscuit for my dog?" "Sure." "Can you warm this one up? Maybe sprinkle some cinnamon and sugar on it, and maybe make it three biscuits?" "You sure this is for your dog?" "Can you also sprinkle a little turkey on it?"

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

'I don't smell any drugs, just Old Spice, geezer aftershave.'

'You say he's been shaking his head?'

"She's a model dog, alright. When she's not on a catwalk, she demands a lot of attention, requires constant grooming, and is a picky eater."

"Too much aftershave, visit to a bee farm. Bad combination."

"Honey, I don't think Lucky likes that cute little Santa Hat you bought for him!"

"No one ever really wears collars like these, of course."

Dog with bald spots wearing jumper.

MY OTHER COAT IS A FUR

"Have you been giving the dog a make over again?"

"It's a relatively new breed. He's a West Coast Trend Setter!"

'Care to roll in our featured scent?'

"Apparently removing my reproductive organs wasn't enough."

Despite what his friends said about 'ugly Christmas sweaters', Chester couldn't wait to have his holiday pet photo taken...'

"I can't wait until I'm old enough to dress myself."

"Looks like Rex is ready for his walk."

'Shouldn't you be shedding that winter coat by now?'

Punk and Dog.

Hair of the dog spots: a poodle

'Of course they're real diamonds! It's a designer coat: She wants me to match her purse...'

"My new dog-walker is faaabulous daaarling! I'll give you his card at our next grooming appointment!"

Stretch Limo for Daschund

'Old Fred spoils that pooch of his!'