Canine Chaperone Gifts

"You've already been for a walk."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Foster failure"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

A man and his dog

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Hush puppy.

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

Foster failure

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"I'm working from home today."

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

Bathing the dog

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

"I know we've had our differences in the past but if you scratch behind my ears I'll show you where the catnip is kept."

'It's normal, don't worry, people on the street just love patting puppies...'

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."