Canine Chaperone Pillows

"You've already been for a walk."

'Personally, I don't like to play Fetch, but it makes him happy.'

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'So far, I've taught him to fetch.'

"Foster failure"

'I see! And, just how much will it cost if she is in season?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Oh no, after you. I insist!"

"Is this any way to treat 'Man's best friend'?"

'Cat or dog?' - 'A little of both.'

"Oh well, I guess I'm lucky that he's not a duck hunter."

"And for lot 27 we have another old tennis ball."

Foster failure

'He's a superior breed - He always drinks thru' a straw!'

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

"Blow out the candles!" "Make a wish!" "I wish I had my testicles back."

'He barks when he sees the boss coming.'

Pet Shop: "I think I've found one for me."

A man and his dog

"We're just going to have to face the fact that you're not a puppy anymore!"

Hush puppy.

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

"I'm working from home today."

Bathing the dog

"I'm not growling, it's my stomach rumbling!"

'Bloody favouritism I call it.'

'Of course I'm being catty. How else do you expect me to act?'

Wagging Dog

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'The meaning of life is dog food.'