Canine Archaeologist Gifts

'Carbon date if you must but I'd stake my reputation on it being a July, 1993, Sunday Roast!'

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

Bears catching fish

'Shoot, this is nothing, you should have seen how good we had it back in ancient Egypt.'

'I'd hire you, but the word is going around you guys are practically extinct!'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"I'm taking a gap year and then getting my Master's in Fetching and Staying."

Dog History

"We learnt about Prehistory at school today: Saber-tooth tigers were so cool!"

"Okay, we get it. You're descended from wolves."

"I'm about ready to forgive the French."

Dog watching show called, 'After Obedience School Special'

Philip of Mastodon

'Something tells me we're close!'

Pet Cemetery.

Zoo Psychological Center. We had a good group session today. The cougar talked about her trouble having a romantic relationship with someone her own age. The wolf opened up about wearing sheep's clothing. And we all assured the newt that an identity crisis is common among amphibians. The gorilla is having a tough day so he's staying for an individual session. There's nothing wrong with you ... a lot of people tend to ignore 800-pound gorillas.

"Is that Penny I smell? It's been so long... Hold on, is this Dougie? No way! That crazy mongrel, he is nuts! I remember that time he chased those kids on skateboards all the way down Cliff Street. Wait, is this Rosie?!"

'Dragonflies, amphibians, starfish.... How boring can you get?'

'Well it took us five years to find it, but we finally did... now if we can just locate the key, we'll be rich!'

I'm not just being paranoid, Margret. His breath smells like dolphin and I even found a flipper in his coat pocket yesterday. I really think Earl's hitting the bottlenose again.

"Making a documentary about a week in the life of a cat has proved to be less challenging than I anticipated."

Doggy Peer Pressure

"Why don't they come up with a breed that'll live longer?"

'Fidelity is overrated.'

"Chapter One: Call me Scooter..."

Good Ship Lollipop

"Well, hello. You're such a cute doggie!"

'Oscaar? Where aaaare you? Portrait time!'

'Early pets'

"Hey Bob, look, a ship-wreck: let's check it out, it's like a magnet for scuba-divers..."

Rockwell School (Dog disguised as pupil).

"'Discovered?' Typical colonial attitude! My family's been living here for generations!"

'Huh! I grew up with Lassie, and she wasn't as sweet and innocent as everybody thinks...'

Cocktails for dogs

"I think they've transplanted too many human genes into Fred."