Candy Investor T-Shirts

"We've decided to diversify our funds on some candy!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Bubble gum leaves

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Chocolate Shop

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

'Guess how many I ATE.'

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

All-Candy Seder.

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

The dark side of Halloween.