Candy Critic T-Shirts

"Put away the gummy candies and bring out the apples. The kid's mother is our dentist!"

"Let's see if there's another witch's cottage with a better candy selection."

Candy Land for Adults

"Med Brittle"

Trump in Disappointing Halloween Candy

"I got horse dewormer..."

"You don't have to worry about my teeth. Bucky Sims talked me out of my candy."

'Thanks to the tons of sweets you ate for years, you'll lose weight now - I'll pull out all your teeth!'

'I hate chocolates that are gooey inside but I love Valentine's cards that are all gooey inside.'

'Do we want a box of raisins? Mister, this is Halloween, not audition night at the comedy club!'

"It was a lousy Halloween haul. I didn't have to go for even one dental checkup."

"Personally, I think he's over-mentoring."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Too much sugar."

An historic event in Candyland: When M met M

'Take two tootsie rolls and call me in the morning.'

Bubble gum leaves

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

Chocolate Shop

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

You know, the snowballs we get in the summer are better. They're flavored!

'You've got to help me, Doc! I've got a crush on St. Valentine all Year!!'

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

The dark side of Halloween.

'Mustard, ketchup and mayo are all nice and creamy smooth. Why isn't anything being done about relish?'

Secret sweetie drawer...

"This is scary, maybe we should turn on the lights. Hello.."

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"

Bubble Gum Dispenser

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"If you dress in a costume that they can't figure out, they feel guilty and give you more candy."

"It's completely normal for someone your age to develop a taste for butterscotch."

It was a pretty vicious attack. He's lost a lot of candy.