Candy Philosopher T-Shirts

"Today is All Saints' Day. It's not about candy...it's about honoring all the saints and remembering all their sacrifices!"

"No kidding… the meaning of life is Twizzlers?!"

'That marriage is endless cycle of disappointment and sacrifice?"

I'm having fun, all in all. But there is one question which I attempted to answer and no matter what, I fail: Why do candy stores have business hours?

"My mom says it takes three hundred and sixty four licks to get to the center of a tootsie pop."

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Bubble gum leaves

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'Awesome mummy costume!' 'I'm a pirate! Some kids just TPed me...'

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Imported Candy. "Chocolate Australian Bears"? Yes --- "Coca-Koalas"!

Chocolate Shop

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

All-Candy Seder.

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The dark side of Halloween.