Candy Clairvoyant T-Shirts

'In this aisle I'm a real fortune teller - I 'NO' all.'

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

Revenge of the Jelly Mother.

'The doctor's gonna have to wire your mouth shut for a month... but guess what! If you're brave, I'll give you this lollipop when he's done!'

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

In case of Emergency: Break Glass

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Bubble gum leaves

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

"Sis, my teacher said to list the four food groups. . . but I can only think of three. Cookies, candy and ice cream!"

"How could we be short? You had enough chocolate for everyone on our list!"

"Dessert?""No thanks, I'm stuffed."

Chocolate Shop

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

'Guess how many I ATE.'

"The best thing about this, is the lovely honeycomb centre."

"It's hard being a grownup, too – did you know we have absolutely zero limits on treats?"

"Since you're going to the dentist, I bought you a giant lollipop to go out in style."

"No, dude. Smoke the grass first. Then eat the candy."

The Corner Of Ogden And Nash: Candy is Daddy/Liquor is Quicker

Vending machines with junk food: 'Zing!', 'Zoom!' and 'Crash!'

All-Candy Seder.

'What kind of filling would you like?'

'I told that boy no snacks before dinner, , ,'

"The candy on the pillow is a nicety of the house."

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

The dark side of Halloween.

'What can you get with a quarter?'

"They're healthy? All this time, Mom said carrots and raisins were nature's candy!"