Candy Bar Fan Gifts

'Go ahead and have another candy bar. Adults say they want us to lose weight, but they're always trying to hide behind us. This will make it easier for them.'

School Cafeteria. It's the start of the school year. The Geometry teacher will come by to verify that we're serving truly square meals. The grammar teacher says the alphabet soup is runny and needs some punctuation added. History teachers keep a record of all the past meals and so will notice any leftovers being served. And the computer lab staff expressed concern about all the cookies so the astronomy teacher suggested switching to candy for dessert. I'll bet she thinks Starburst and Milk

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

Apple Pie Abduction

"Halloween is the perfect time to land on Earth. Nobody will notice us and we can get free candy."

Maybe the gods aren't angry. Maybe the gods are just yanking our chain.

Music Hall Dancers

"Well, what number sunscreen are you using?"

Flan-eating bacteria

'No fair. Someone ate the popsicle off the stick.'

'Can I have a Banana-Split' without the ice-cream?'

"You think you're gonna whack me and this will be over?"

A chip off the old block...

"I'm going to be rich, famous, and irresistible to the opposite sex any day now, Randy." "I think you've had one too many hot cocas, little buddy." "No, really. I've written a note for my descendants and buried it in a time capsule in my backyard." "Once they read it, they'll time-travel back to the 20th century and genetically engineer my embryonic self." "They'll bestow me with superhuman charisma, epic good looks, and money-management skills." "You're forgetting that to have descend

'Hey, look�The carnival must be in town'

The Cheshire Cat drinking tea.

"Step right up, lady and gents, and scoop yourself a heaping helping of the best spicy meat and bean stew this side of the mighty Mississippi!"

'Two large ones when you're ready please barkeeper'

"I don't really think you're cut out for this job..."

'Your sugar is through the roof.'

'You don't have to raise your hand here, little boy.'

Hooks R Us.

"What out... this guy's always gatecrashing events for free booze."

Listen, I'll put chocolate chips in your flapjacks, too, but I ain't makin' smiley faces with 'em.

'Frankly Mum, hot chocolate would be more of a treat than ice cream...'

Tutti: When all voices sing at the same time.

"I like blueberry, but still think the custard's funnier."

"I guess I shouldn't have asked for the cherries jubilee to go!"

'How come you get candy corn and I get real carrots?'

Rollercoaster police chase.

Chocolate Cake

Stick Your Head Out The Window

"Mom does this for everyone's birthday, if you don't applaud, no dessert for a week."

While Mike was not your typical sugar daddy, his wife Susan had her concerns. . .

GUESS YOUR WEIGHT, but lie to make you feel better!