Cancer Awareness Champion Gifts

"Bad news: all those pink NFL uniforms don't actually cure breast cancer."

"Our war is against cancer."

"This isn't helping my migraine."

"It's time I got a bigger sword!"

'Your blood Sugar is very high.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Say balls to testicular cancer, remember to check your crown jewels regularly.

Getting to the ER saved my life...early retirement.

'You're not retaining water. You're retaining cookies and ice cream and pizza...'

Female chemotherapy warrior.

Scientific Research: 'Uh...why'd it take'em 20 yeahs t' figyah that out?'

'Must you always point out my floss?'

Bubbling

'Nurse! With this chemo cocktail, get me some mixed nuts and pretzels!'

Flo discovered that one perk of cancer is that people treat her like a queen.

"In some ways it'll be a relief when the obesity time-bomb does finally go off."

'OK, who wants to be a hero?'

"Good news, Mrs. Bryant - I think we got it all."

'I said my hormones are playing up again! Why don't you pay attention?'

"We need to break your addiction to prescription drugs. Let's see if this prescription helps."

"I must be getting old, my feet hurt even before I get out of bed in the morning!"

'No thanks, I recently gave them up.'

"The Hendersons say they've got Covid. Is that still a thing?"

AIDS prevention

"I'm healthy. It's the wealthy and wise part that's been a challenge."

'Are you willing to release your medical records?'

Pink ribbon thanks for your support

"No thanks. I'm celebrating 'No Shave November'."

'There's already an aids quilt... the committee thought it would be a good idea if the club made a syphilis quilt.'

Drug-Free Zone ... Except For Junk Food.

'The bad news is that it's definitely Cancer. The good news is that I hear it's 'in'.'

Prostate Issues

"Oooh, no - I couldn't have another slice of carrot cake, Mabel - not with my irritable bowel the way it is..."

She's Not Heavy, She's a Heroine

Should have used a higher SPF...