Canal Captain T-Shirts

'That's the guy - lives on a 'narrow boat!'

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

Captain in a storm

Sailor in Car.

For some reason, "The Road Less Travelled" GPS package never really caught on...

Fishermen dread the spot where the lures hang heavy from the trees like Spanish moss.

Mr. Punch in Venice

Captain steering house through flood.

Old sea captains queue to see Monster Whale Revenge.

'It's my company, I'll decide whether I want to go to the partner's meeting or not.'

Man about dog parasailing: 'He's a water dog and a birder.'

'If we get out of this alive, I'm going to have a darn good look at your resume.'

"Sorry, Rick, but no thongs means no thongs."

'Well, it wasn't my lucky day... first there was that shark and then I bimped into a bunch of beaver!'

Welsh airport arrivals.

'Trust me, you're not going to need an alarm clock.'

"The boys at Jack's Bait & Tackle will never believe this one!"

'I like to greet the new team members myself.'

Captain looks out of a porthole and notices that the ship is sinking.

'Not while I'm driving the boat, Marge, please,'

I drive, therefore I am.

"Awwwk! Mutiny is a go! Pass it on! Awwk!"

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

"How much did it cost to have your ears pierced?"

'...the storm raged and the doctor got drunk to steady his nerves..'

"Cap'n FancyPants got himself an i-Patch."

Internet Cafe.

"The Captain really, really hates losing at shuffleboard."

"There's always a period of adjustment whenever you hire a new crew."

"Who ordered the bravest tuna on all the seven seas, anointed with the spice of faraway lands, on wheat toast?"

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

"How can you feel queasy, we're barely out of port."

Pirate dogs burying bones.

'it's the last bite that worries me.'

Tugboat tugging Iceberg