Campus Activities T-Shirts

"I am dyslexic, parked in a faculty space and wore my roommate's t-shirt."

'I'm with the Campus Police, ma'am... we had a tip than someone in this dorm may be reading for pleasure.'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

Need a Qualified Adult for Pooh Sticks

"Sorry, kid. No off-campus drinking until you're twenty-one."

"Pfff, eating homework is nothing! My mum eats the clothes off the clothes line..."

I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not talk in art class. I will not in art class. I will not talk in art class.

The best PE teacher in the World.

Leak in the fish tank.

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

'Who I played in Summer Stock.'

All Hail the Matriarchy

"Could you repeat that word?"

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Our college is tuned to the students' every need! Campus Visits. We have body image awareness week. Safe sex awareness week. Bullying, drug use and tolerance awareness weeks. What did I miss? Welcome. History, math or English awareness week? Great idea. I'll suggest that.

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

'When I was studying animal husbandry, I met the animal who became my husband.'

Jumping cheerleaders

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

'Tommy's doing fine. I'm concerned about your poor fund-raising record. You sold only two magazine subscriptions and one measly candy bar.'

'I'm going to have to give up drinking and drugs when I leave uni - to pay off my bank loan.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"I wish my Dad would get off my back! It's only been nine years and he wants to know if I've picked a major yet!"

I drive, therefore I am.

'It could be worse. Imagine what it'd be like if we hadn't gone to that team building session last week.'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."