Campaign Chroniclers Gifts

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

'This advertising campagn is stupid and disgusting and it appeals to peoples' most primitive instincts. I love it.'

Tony Blair

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

Greek Tragedy: 'Yes... we agree to further cuts in government spendings..!!!'

Campaign Donations

Vote. The candidates are a lot like us --- they have programmed answers for the FAQ's.

"If reelected, this time, I promise not to procrastinate for four years and then try to get all my governing done in one epic all-nighter."

"The last thing that I intend to do is to stand here making a display of my patriotism."

Stephen Harper on the attack ads.

'Wow! Can't you just feel the safe-ness!'

'The press is calling you overconfident. Stop using ‘Hail To The Chief' as your ringtone.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

'Not only have I never been a Congressman, but I've never even set foot in Washington!'

You're suffering from pre-election fever brought on by competing promises.

'Well, I see that Senator Zwecklos has found a loophole in the Campaign Finance law.'

Bush's Huge Campaign Fund at Work.

"None of the candidates - not one - talks about health insurance for use."

Trump Campaign Funding

TRUMP

"Dad has promised that if he becomes President, we'll get a dog."

'Yes, I broke that campaign promise, but it was never NOTARIZED!'

Republican campaign tosses out the truth.

Trickle down...

"Oh, my mother's learned a lot from this campaign. She sends me five robocalls a day."

'There's a democracy in here somewhere...'

Warning! All Manifestos May Contain Traces of Truth.

"I think it's a bit late in the evening, Harold, to tell them about your watershed experience."

GOP Presidential Hopefuls