Campaign Chronicler Gifts

'I didn't get re-elected, but I won an Emmy for my campaign promises!'

Trump Campaign Funding

"Good boy."

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

Vehicles are having their own election. These are the candidates. The ambulance appeals to voters who think health care is most important. Voters focusing on education issues favor the school bus. And those wanting family-friendly policies are backing the minivan. The tractor is an expert on agricultural issues, and the import is a free trade advocate. Those voters concerned about environmental issues like the electric hybrid, and those wanting a strong military support the Jeep. What's t

'If only every year was an election year.'

'With these video-phones, there's just too much documentation on all my promises.'

GOP exaggerating scale of immigration, inflation and crime rates

'I would love to run for class president, but I'm concerned about the vetting process. I once faked sleep during nap time in pre-school.'

'The candidates campaign promises have been re-named campaign ideas to avoid lawsuits.'

With no clear winner, the debate ended in a tie breaker.

'Your life story?....why not, the world is in need of a few good laughs!'

"Okay, you still have all the old problems, but we're adding new ones and you can't touch.

Patrick Hendy Rodham Clinton

Debating Society. I can accept that money is speech as long as we can agree that some spending is like yelling fire in a theater.

You realize, Harris, if you LIVED here, you'd be home by now.

"With great power comes great reward."

"I called for you creative people because I feel it's time to begin my autobiography."

Political Debate, 'I'd like a word with the debate chairman.'

vote

"Rudy, did you realize it's illegal for a boss to tell his minion how to vote?...And that therefore, I would never tell you to vote for my friend Patsy Marionette, for city council?"

Vote. The candidates are a lot like us --- they have programmed answers for the FAQ's.

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

The Wall St. 'fat cats' are going to pay for this mess. And that payment will come in the form of a contribution to my re-election campaign.

News and Magazines. Campaign Fundraising Heats Up. It says this election cycle is expected to break all records in the amount of money spent on free speech.

Campaign Donations

Trump promises versus reality.

Cherchez la femme

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

Tony Blair

'Wow. The anti-smoking movement really has been successful.'

Approved Debate Questions

"Find out what the people want so I can tell it like it is."

'Remember when the worry was over little swift boat attacks?'

"If talk is cheap, why do candidates need super PACs to finance elections?"