Campaign Commentator Gifts

'Wow! Can't you just feel the safe-ness!'

"No matter how many debates and campaigns I watch, I never get used to the mudslinging."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"Nation-building never works."

Trump Administration Raising White Flag in Ukraine

Enhanced Pedophilia Interrogation Techniques

Opportunities in Coronatimes

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

Laughingstock

Trump Poutine

'What's wrong with those Europeans? We have more murders in this city than England, France Germany and Spain combined.'

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

Who gets the anti-corona vaccine?

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"You know who's tougher than all your little superheroes? The fossil fuel industry."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Political Candidates' Playbook Signals from the sidelines

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

"Actually, yes, honey — I do believe 'Fox News' is an oxymoron."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

Unemployed recession: the irony is killing me

A lock labeled 'freedom' covers a man's mouth.

"Hey...look...I'm prepared to admit that I might have been wrong, but...I think it's time to draw a line under it... and y'know...move on..."

"....So called 'fake news' is dangerous to our democracy!"

'I was hounded out of office!', 'That explains the smell.'

"I just know he's gonna ask me why I voted for Trump."

'Why does my opponent keep lying about me?', 'Because truth is stranger than fiction?'

Tearing up the Iran Deal

"AI chat bot"

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"New court filings. Totally clears the President. Thank you." "Actually, sir, it, uh, says you did crime and might go to jail."

'Cartoonist thinking'

'To paraphrase Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The only thing we have to fear is the NSA, FBI, CIA, DEA, IRS, DIA, EPA, FTC, FCC...'

"I mean the Saturday Night Live president, not the lousy one."

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.