Camera Jockey Gifts

LUNCH TIME!

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

The Computer Bore

'I'll be late for dinner, dear, I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I realize we had to liquidate some assets, but don't you think I'd be more productive if I had a desk?"

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"Morning, all!"

'Sorry, suffering from burnout return in a week.'

Food Chain, Inc: 'UP...DOWN'.

"They've hiked up our targets again...I'm going to have to put in some overtime to have any chance of meeting them!"

Time for More Paperwork

"I'm overpaid and underworked, but you don't see me complaining!"

"Now, let's get out there and walk really fast to places we don't want to be."

In many ways this is the perfect job! Out. Out.

If nobody had invented graphics

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Working in the Hazard Zone!

"Hiring someone to replace me and then expecting me to train him just doesn't sit well with me."

'I need to talk to you about the coffee fund.'

Businessman with in and out boxes marked: 'Hocus' and 'Pocus'

"I feel your pain."

National Boss Monument.

'It's 930am ma'am - time to meet the Board of Detractors.'

Lumbar support animal

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Office Supplies/Coffee Supplies.